Growing up's hard to do

We all have our own Neverland. Sometimes it's a physical place. Sometimes it's an activity. Sometimes it's just a feeling. For me, Neverland is usually found in a feeling of safety.

We all have something that allows us to escape to somewhere without life's pressures and problems. We all need our Neverland; the problem comes when we don't know how or when to leave it.

A close friend of mine in Edmonton overdosed on MDMA last week. He's fine now, but it was pretty terrifying. He's someone that's been a huge part of my life for the last five years or so and sometimes finds his Neverland through artificial means. Like most 21 year-olds, he's done stupid things before, but this time was different; this time he almost died.

My friend's overdose scared the shit out of him. He doesn't want to party anymore; he wants to travel; after dropping out of high school years ago, he suddenly wants to go to university. I think the experience has made him realize (finally) that he's not invincible. But to accomplish all this, he’s going to have to grow up a bit.

But growing up is hard to do. I know it. I'm struggling to get ready to leave the safety net (aka Neverland) I've created here at UVic over the last four years. I'm trying to figure out what my next steps will be and fighting what I feel is a pressure from the rest of the world to shed the last of my adolescent life in favor of becoming an 'adult.' I know that doesn’t mean that I have to change who I am, per se; I can still be youthful and whimsical and have fun. But I really do want to keep that part of being a kid where you’re absolved of all real responsibility; it’s safe.

It sucks, but I know that if I keep clinging to the feeling of safety I have here, I’m never going to accomplish my dreams. That sounds corny, but it’s true. Unlike my friend, my Neverland won't kill me, but it also won't get me where I want to go. I want to write about social issues. I want to publish an incredibly personal memoir. I want to ask questions that people are not going to want to answer. None of these things are going to feel ‘safe.’

Maybe breaking away from Neverland gives you an opportunity to find a new, even better Neverland. Maybe it just gives you an opportunity to stand on your own. Either way, I think if I’m going to get where I want to in life, I’m going to have to leave this particular Neverland behind.

The search for Neverland: part B

I did not get the job I wanted this summer, the one that fit perfectly into my plan of what to do with my life for the next two-ish years.

Had I got the job, I would have finished my degree this summer while the job was part-time, or maybe left a single course to be completed in the fall, then I would have stuck around Victoria working the job full-time until the end of April 2010. By then, I would have found a stellar internship for NEXT summer, which would obviously have landed me a fantastic entry-level job for the following fall and the rest of my life would be a perfectly planned cakewalk.

But I did not get the job. Truthfully, I got robbed. But I’ve spent a few weeks being angry, attempting a mutiny and pouting. None of it worked. Now? Now I’m smiling because, while I didn’t get the job, I still have endless opportunities for adventure.

So far my new plan includes a productive summer (including getting a drivers license) and finishing my degree in December. That’s it. Currently, my plan does not continue past the last days of 2009. But this is ok. This is exciting. I have options.

I’ll probably still stick around Victoria until April 2010 (what with having a lease and all) but after that, one of my options is jumping on the more-school bandwagon. After all, the economy won’t be magically healed by then and really, what’s a little ($10,000-$20,000) more debt? Maybe I’ll do a Masters degree in journalism at Ryerson or Carleton or Concordia. Maybe I’ll go do a diploma or certificate in broadcasting at BCIT or NAIT. We journalists will have to diversify after all. Maybe I’ll get really kooky and go do a communications degree at Mount Royal with my little sister. But then I’d have to live in Calgary – and let’s face it – that’s never going to happen.

Or maybe I’ll make use of my new UK passport and go live in London for a while, work for family and travel Europe. Maybe I’ll go spend an incredibly nerdy week looking at the architecture in Prague. Or maybe I’ll stay right here and wait tables while trying to get a freelance career off the ground and apply for the same job again next year. Who knows?

For once, I feel like I’m actually alright with not knowing – or at least I’m not having panic attacks over my lack of a solid plan. I came out to Victoria knowing no one, never having been here in my entire life; I didn’t have a plan then. And, while there are things I would have done differently, overall the experience has been amazing.

Screw you, career fair

(This incredible cartoon is courtesy of the fantastic Marc Junker. It ran as the editorial cartoon in the Feb. 12 edition of the Martlet.)

A few weeks ago, I had an exhibitor at UVic's career fair tell me that I would not be able to find a job with a Bachelor of Arts degree with a major in political science and a minor in journalism. She said that I would have to go to grad school. The exhibitor was working for a certain provincial public service agency, and I had asked her if there were any summer jobs in communications or policy analysis. Apparently there aren't. Nor are there permanent full-time jobs. Not for me at least.

I was surprised, to say the least. I'd think that four years of political science and three years working at a student paper would at least put me in contention for a summer job with the provincial government. I thought I was doing pretty well in life. I'd picked a path and started the trek down it. I'd chosen a degree that I thought was useful, timeless, with a good chance of getting a decent job (even if it wasn't in journalism) upon graduation. Wrong.

But what astounds me even more is the fact that I'm not the only one. All three of my roommates are planning on doing another degree/certificate/diploma when they finish their degree. Most of my friends who are graduating this spring are applying to grad schools or technical institutes for the fall. Or they're taking a year off to work so they can afford to go to grad schools or technical institutes.

On the other hand, most of my friends back in Edmonton either opted out of the post-secondary path or didn't finish high school in the first place. In my group of friends, I'm unique in my decision to pursue post-secondary. But all my friends have great jobs! My best friend works in a fabrication shop doing books, payroll, reception, etc.; she makes good money, has great benefits and makes her own hours. Granted it's not a job I'd be likely to fall in love with, but she has. To top it off, her boyfriend is an elevator mechanic who just got a raise to $45/hour. $45/hour! And he hasn't even done the schooling to get his ticket yet!

Growing up, I was told I had to get good grades and participate in lots of extra circular activities so I could get into a good university so I could get a good job where I'd make good money. When I got to university, I was told I'd need a really dynamic portfolio if I wanted to work in journalism. So I started volunteering, and then working at the Martlet. Then these higher powers added internship to the list of things I'd need to achieve, but these are so scarce and competitive that if that's a job requirement, we're all in trouble.

"Why don't you go do a masters degree?" people (family) have begun to ask me. Uhm, I'm just finishing 16-straight years of school. I'm already in debt. If I have to write another essay on democratic peace theory, I'm likely to vomit all over it. And you said I'd get a good job with THIS degree!

Since when is university nothing more than a stepping stone to more school? How do I find a way past the fact that an MA is the new BA and anything less just won't do? If this continues, we'll be walking around with mountains of debt, unpublished dissertations and useless PhDs? What happens then? Do we make a new, higher degree?

And how is it that a quarter of the people working in newsrooms right now don't have BAs? They're good writers, great writers even. And once upon a time, what mattered was being good at your job, not what letters followed your name.

I pursued a degree I enjoy and one day I will live in a box

I started freaking out about finding a summer job as soon as I returned to school from Christmas break. I hadn't applied for the newspaper internships that had closed in December because I'm not eligible (at 21 years-old, I do not posses a drivers license above a learners permit). I was convinced that an amazing summer job - preferably one in print at a paper or a magazine - would magically fall into my lap. I'd even settle for a communications job if it were high paying and in government.

Come the second week of January, I realized that I was screwed. My dream job? Closed. Non-existent. Internship program axed due to budget cuts (sorry again, K!). My back up jobs? Reserved for affirmative action hiring. No positions available to hiring freezes. Looking for university graduates.

My first reaction was to figure out if I was alone in my predicament, then record my despair for the whole world (or people who read the Martlet) to see. Ok, that was my second reaction. My first involved a pint of Ben and Jerry's half-baked ice cream and a prolonged temper tantrum about how following your dreams is a cruel romantic notion that never really works out.

The following is an updated version of an article I wrote which ran in the Martlet on Jan. 21, confirming my fears that my degree is even more useless than I originally thought.

Graduating soon? Rethink hitting the job market

As recently as last April, university students looked forward to finishing their degree and moving on to high-paying jobs. This year, however, due to the economic slowdown, finding those jobs is going to be much more difficult.

“It could be a pretty severe recession that we see in Canada,” said UVic economics professor Herbert Schuetze, who specializes in labour economics. “Things are going to be tough for awhile.”

Effects of the recession in the U.S. have recently become apparent in Canada, and companies are responding to the economic crunch with layoffs and hiring freezes. According to Statistics Canada, 129,000 jobs were lost across Canada in January, resulting in the national unemployment rate rising to 7.2 per cent from 6.6 per cent.

“I think for students it’s going to be eye-opening. Students who’ve been coming up for the last number of years have had it really well,” said Schuetze.

But UVic students don’t seem overly concerned about their job prospects, preferring to be cautious over fearful.

“I’m not too worried,” said fourth-year science student Jennifer Sawatzky, who plans on graduating in December 2009 and has already spent two summers working in her field. “Having said that, if I’m offered a job [right away] I’m going to take it hands down. I’m worried that if I take time off to go travelling like I’ve been dying to do, I might pass up an opportunity to actually get a job in my field.”

For fourth-year history student Tyrel Meredith, the economic slowdown is a push toward continuing his education after completing his undergraduate degree.

“The economic crisis hasn’t necessarily made me nervous, but it has made me re-evaluate my post-grad plans,” said Meredith, who plans to graduate this April. “Now more than ever the necessity of returning to school after I graduate is apparent. Hoping I’ll fall ass backwards into a good job no longer seems even slightly realistic.”

Schuetze says that there are two factors at play in the economy right now. First, the economic slowdown is causing companies to stop hiring, which is bad news for students getting ready to graduate. Not only are companies not hiring, but layoffs often start with younger employees because they have yet to develop skills specific to the company. Unions also protect more senior workers.

According to Schuetze, the current economy will affect students not only now, but for years to come.

“There is some evidence that suggests that when you graduate in a recession, there’s some sort of scaring that goes on,” Schuetze said. “It carries on throughout your life cycle in the labour market.”

The second factor, however, should give students a glimmer of hope. The baby boom generation is leaving the work force, even if the current recession pushes their retirement plans back a year or two.

“As markets rebound and things adjust, there’ll be lots of opportunities for students,” said Schuetze.

The Bank of Canada predicts that the economy will recover in 2010. While Schuetze says that’s a reasonable prediction, he notes that jobs for students won’t be available right away.

“Any prediction is based on looking into a crystal ball,” he said. “2010 sounds reasonable, but you never know until things play out. The graduating class of 2011 might look OK, but then they’re competing with all the students who couldn’t find jobs.”

In the meantime, he suggests that students look into continuing their education.

“If you’re thinking about doing grad school, now would probably be a good time,” said Schuetze.

Norah McRae, executive director of UVic’s co-op program, says students should network, focus on transferable skills and stay informed about what’s happening with employers to boost their chances of finding a good job. She suggests looking in to joining a co-op program.

“Participating in co-op will help students get access to jobs related to their studies, develop transferable skills and build their network,” McRae said in an e-mail interview.

For students not involved in co-op, she suggests looking at job postings through UVic Career Services, or taking advantage of the career educators available through Career Services, who can provide students with individual coaching.

“A key message here is that it is not too soon to start, and that being successful will involve both personal action and tapping into resources on and off campus,” said McRae.

CHECK OUT my Martlet article

Here we go...

The above cartoon does not bode well for me. Journalism as we know it is dying. Or maybe it's just changing. Either way, jobs - and I mean real jobs with a regular paycheque and maybe even benefits - are few and far between. This does not bode well for me.

Sometime in 2009, I will finish my Bachelor of Arts degree - I think ... I hope. Kind of.

I'm currently in the second semester of the fourth year of my degree, majoring in political science with a minor in professional writing (aka journalism). Come April, I'll have five classes left to complete, mostly electives, which should allow me to finish in either August or December, depending on a) what I end up doing for work this summer, and b) my own laziness. I can't wait to be down with classes and papers and paying for tuition and books.

But at the same time, I'm terrified of what life post-university may hold. I'm starting my career, likely moving out of the city I've called home for the last four years, which means moving out of the house I share with some of my very best friends. Yeah, sure, it's exciting. But not knowing where I'm going to live, what I'll be doing to pay my bills and who'll be there to make me smile is enough to (literally) give me a panic attack. The future has gone from being an exciting adventure to this big, blurry unknown that keeps me up at night.

For me, graduating and leaving UVic is losing neverland, this fantastic world I've been living in where I get to be who I want and pursue my dreams, but live with no real sense of responsibility beyond just getting by. And I don't know if I'm ready to leave - or if I'll ever be ready, for that matter.

That's what Losing Neverland is all about, trying to quell the fears I have surrounding my future, or sometimes, just getting them off of my chest. I'm looking for proof that I'm going to be okay after university, that despite my worst fears, my world is not about to crash down around me. In fact, I'm hoping to find that this really is just the beginning.

'Cause right now, I'm in trouble. I don't wanna grow up.